A Sad Day

My friend John [the guy with kidney disease] called me this afternoon and asked if I could come over. He was his usual courteous, cheerful self and we chatted for an hour or so. He finally told me that the reason he'd asked me over was that he'd seen his doctor today and wanted to share his news with me. His doctor had told him that there was no use in limiting his diet or not having anything he wanted to have because it wasn't going to affect the condition of his kidneys. It would not slow down his disease. The only thing that would help was a kidney transplant and the chances of that happening were approximately 1 in 86,000, unless he had someone of the same blood type direct one of their kidneys to him. None of his friends that had volunteered kidneys were even close to being a match. We talked about the depression that was beginning to manifest itself and how he was beginning to withdraw from everyone. He said that the only real pleasure he had now was grocery shopping...."I don't cook much of anything, but I really enjoy browsing through the grocery stores." He and I frequently shop together and I know how much he likes asking me about different things, how they're cooked or spiced and telling me about how he cooks things. He was telling me about how after the last time we shopped and I'd bought the pork tenderloins and I'd cooked them and told him how tender and delicious they were, that he was going to try it. He went and bought 3 packages and in the first two packages the tenderloins had been cut and packaged in 4 equal portions. He had pounded them out, put some mozzarella cheese and seasoning in them, then made roulades. He had to use a bunch of toothpicks to keep them rolled while he breaded and cooked them. They apparently turned out very tasty. His wife took 2 of them to work with her the next day and her co-workers wondered why she was eating "porcupine dicks?" She had left all the toothpicks in the roulade. John thought that was about the best description he'd ever heard.

I am going to try to be like John in thinking of this. He has decided to go on with his life, taking the best care of himself he can and get what pleasure and joy in it he can. He will try not to anticipate the end coming, but when it arrives, so be it.

That's about all I can say right now, I'm not hanging in there too well.

See you tomorrow.